Multimedia Arts Organization Promoting Life and Healing After Abortion. Producers of the Live Production - The Life Ballet - and
Arise Sweet Sarah Film and Soundtrack.
Letter of Regret
From Jodi
My Dearest Faith, Hope, and Grace; my sweet, sweet girls:
I don't know where to begin! I want to say that I miss you, but you all feel so close to me; like we've never been apart. I feel your warmth all around me. For so many years, it hurt, killed me, to even think of you, so I didn't. Out of sight, out of mind; but that was just one of the many lies I told myself to justify my actions. Girls, for so many years, I tried to fill the emptiness I felt with many things, but primarily food. Food made the pain go away, but only for a short time; so I'd frequently find myself in the kitchen or a fast food restaurant. As if I need to tell you, this behavior was not the answer to my pain. I'm sorry, girls, for thinking I could replace you with something so meaningless as food. I am sorry I ever let you go. I am sorry for allowing my confusion and fear to have such a strong hold on my life. Forgive me for the physical pain that I allowed to happen to your wee innocent bodies. Forgive me for being naive and selfish. Over the last year, God has slowly prepared me for this day of reconciliation with all of you, and all I can say is "Wow! Thank you, God." Faith - you, my dear, have taught me how to believe once again; which leads me to Hope. Hope, you have given and shown me that life is worth holding onto. Grace - you have taught me to love and forgive in a way that was previously unimaginable. 'Thank you' seems so inadequate, but you know in my heart how deep these words go. I love you girls with all my being, and I know you love me right back. Girls, I can't wait to have the biggest family group hug. I want you to know that your little lives were not taken in vain, and that for the remainder of my life here on this earth, I will do whatever it takes to help show the next hurting Mom or Dad how to reach for God's love, grace and mercy. Girls, I love you with all my being. My Lord and Savior, thank you for your indescribable love and patience, for your eternal hope and peace. Thank you for bringing me face-to-face with my girls and teaching me all about grace. Thank you for taking something so wrong and making it right. Thank you for loving and setting me free; thank you for giving you life just for me. Jesus, I thank you. And thank you, most of all, for the man I married and the father of our girls. Thank you for being the center of our marriage and the father of our girls. Thank you for being the center of our marriage and healing the unhealable. Thank you for making our family complete and using our girls to bring the unity I've so longed for. Girls, until I hold you in my arms, I rest knowing that you couldn't be in a greater place. I love you with every fiber of my body!
Love,
Mommy
